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Think Like A Monk
It's never occurred before that so many people are so unsatisfied—or so obsessed with pursuing "happiness." The media and our society constantly bombard us with ideas and notions about what and who we should be while presenting us with examples of achievement and success. Fame, fortune, and glitz—none of these things can satisfy us in the end. We'll only keep looking for more, creating a cycle of frustration, disillusionment, discontent, sadness, and tiredness.
When you get stressed, what changes? Your breath. When you get angry, what changes? Your breath. We feel every kind of emotion with the change of breath. Learning to control and navigate your breath would help you navigate every situation in life.
In a study, it was found that the scans of a 41-year-old monk's brain showed less indication of ageing than those, of his contemporaries. According to experts, his brain scans were like the scans of a 10-year-old.
Read an old book if you want a fresh concept.
Pavlov, Ivan
Identity
It is preferable to fulfil your destiny imperfectly than to live a flawless replica of someone else's life.
Images and voices teach us who we should be and what we should do. Our families, friends, society, and the media are surrounded by these voices and images.
Don't block out your loved ones, but don't let their conceptions of success and happiness drive your decisions.
If you know your beliefs, you'll be able to navigate your way to the right people, as well as the ideal activities and habits for you. When we travel in an unfamiliar location, we lose our sense of direction, make erroneous turns, become lost, and become stuck by indecision. Values help you surround yourself with the appropriate people, make hard professional decisions, manage your time more effectively, and concentrate your attention where it counts most. We get carried away by diversions if we don't have them.
To think like a monk, you must first observe and evaluate, which begins with solitude and stillness.
You may intentionally generate space for introspection in three ways.
To begin, take some time each day to reflect on how your day went and what feelings you experience
Second, you may approximate the shift by visiting somewhere you've never been before at least once a month to discover yourself in a new setting. This might be anything from going to a new park or library to taking a trip.
Finally, get engaged in something you care about, whether it's a hobby, a charity, or a political purpose.
According to the Gita, these are some higher values and qualities such as;
Fearlessness, purity of mind, gratitude, service and charity, acceptance, performing sacrifice, deep study, austerity, straightforwardness, nonviolence, truthfulness, absence of anger, renunciation, perspective, restraint from finding faults, compassion toward all living beings, satisfaction, kindness, integrity, determination.
(Notice that happiness and success aren't included in this list.) These aren't values; they're prizes – the prize after the game.)
The six lower values are greed, lust, anger, ego, illusion, and envy.
“There are always more ways to be pulled up than to be pulled down.”
Negativity
It's difficult to achieve unity by relying on the misery of others.
We can't help but recognise the flaws in ourselves when we criticise others. However, when we seek the best in others, we begin to recognise it in ourselves as well.
Don't focus on what others do or don't do; instead, focus on what you do or don't do.
Colleagues stopped trying to gossip with me and instead had open and honest discussions with me. Some people had greater faith in me since they knew I wouldn't gossip about them because I didn't talk to them. If there are folks who think I'm just downright boring, I have nothing bad to say about them.
We focus on the aches and sorrows of the day rather than the tiny pleasures we had over the entire day. We compare ourselves to our neighbours, a complain about our relationships, say things behind their backs about our friends that we would never say in front of them, criticise individuals on social media, quarrel, mislead, and even erupt in rage.
Peace, love, and understanding are our three basic emotional needs.
Negativity arises from a threat to one of the three basic needs: a fear of unpleasant things happening (loss of peace), a fear of not being loved (loss of love), or a fear of being disrespected (loss of understanding).
Ideally, you should spend at least 75% of your time with individuals who inspire you rather than depress you. Make an effort to make friends, a positive and uplifting experience. Spend time with the people you care about, but also develop with them. Take a lesson, read a book, or participate in a workshop. Sangha is a Sanskrit term that means "community," and it signifies a safe haven where people help and encourage one another.
The impulse to save others is motivated by ego.
We must remember that we have the freedom to speak whatever we want, anytime we want. What we seek, however, is not freedom. Absolute freedom is not feeling the need to say anything that might produce negative results.
It's commonly stated that you can't heal yourself by damaging someone else, Revenge is the form of ignorance. Monks do not base their decisions and sentiments on the actions of others. Because of how the other person would respond, you believe that vengeance will make you feel better. But, guess what? When you make your vengeful move and the individual doesn't respond the way you imagined. You're simply making things worse. Revenge tends to backfire.
Giving and accepting forgiveness have numerous benefits. We begin to observe all of our relationships flourishing when we make forgiveness a regular component of our spiritual practice. We no longer harbour grudges. There is less drama to worry about.
We're far more at ease finding fault in others and then forgiving them. We're not used to acknowledging guilt or accepting responsibility for our actions.
Fear
We watch, reflect, and build new behaviours to replace the negative in our life, always striving for self-discipline and joy. You heal when you stop being so interested in other people's tragedies and instead celebrate their accomplishments.
The less time you spend focusing on others, the more time you have to focus on yourself.
“Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life.” - Buddha
Our minds prevent us from entering awkward situations. However, by repeating a question rather than rephrasing it, we virtually encircle our brain.
We squander a lot of time and energy trying to be comfortable in our self-created Biospheres. We are afraid of the tensions and challenges of change, yet those stresses and challenges are the wind that strengthens us. We have four emotional responses to fear: we panic, freeze, flee, or we bury it. The first two are short-term approaches, while the third and fourth are long-term. Nonetheless, all of these divert our attention away from the problem and hinder us from employing our anxiety effectively.
"When do I feel you?" is a powerful question to ask your fear. You need to ask this to yourself with love and honestly as many times as required.
When we discuss our emotions, we frequently remark that we are that feeling. I'm furious. I am sad. I'm terrified. Talking about our fears separates us and teaches us that fear is not us; it is simply something we are feeling.
Change the phrase "I am furious" to "I feel angry." I feel depressed. I feel terrified.
The mindset of a monk is to practise detachment. We recognise that everything we own, from our homes to our family, is borrowed.
Ask yourself: “What am I afraid of losing?”, and observe your answer
Take note of these. The things on your list are almost certainly the most important sources of misery in your life – your dread of losing these things. Now consider modifying your mental relationship with those items to become less connected to them. Remember that you may still love and appreciate your partner, children, house, and money from a place of non-attachment.
This is a lifetime exercise, but as you understand that we don't own or control anything, you'll find yourself enjoying and respecting people, things, and experiences more and being more deliberate about the ones you want to include in your life.
"Our fear is greater than the actual dangers, and we suffer more in our imagination than in reality."
Instead of evaluating the circumstance, we needed to embrace it. Whatever happened, we need to concentrate on what we could control, then accept the reality of the situation—Lost your job? Evaluate your choices, Panic or freeze, or take it as a chance to work on your fears, and also find new opportunities.
Intention
A Hindu philosopher Bhaktivinoda Thakura describes 4 fundamental motivations:
Fear
He described it as being driven by “sickness, poverty, fear of punishment, pain or death.”
Desire
Pursuing personal satisfaction through prosperity, money, and pleasures.
Duty
Driven by appreciation, duty, and a desire to do what is right.
Love
Compelled by concern for others and a desire to help them.
"Find out what you're most frightened of and go live there."
Nothing is impossible when the mind, heart, and determination are in harmony.
"Do you wish you could do it or hope you could learn to do it?"
Our search is never for a thing, but for the sensation, we believe the object will provide.
"Money and materialistic things are not the sole sources of wealth." Save the spirit's treasure. Character is wealth, and spiritual insight is greater wealth."
We must go deep into the why of the desire.
We are most content when we are making progress, learning, or achieving something.
"Everything you do during the day, from cleaning to eating breakfast, attending meetings, travelling to work... watching television or choosing to read... everything you do is part of your spiritual life." It's only an issue of how deliberately you go about your daily activities."
"I wish I could be better organised and focused and undertake the hard effort to acquire that," we never say this. We don't say what it takes to obtain what we desire. "I wish" is code for "I don't want to change anything."
Make a to-be list in addition to your to-do list.
Looking for role models is the finest technique to investigate the effort necessary to complete you. If you want to be wealthy, study what wealthy individuals you respect are like and do, and read books on how they got there. Concentrate on what they did at your level to get to where they are today.
We only have to keep in mind that the less pure they are, the less likely they are to make us happy, even if they do make us successful. When people achieve their goals but remain unsatisfied, it is because they did it with the incorrect purpose.
Purpose
Meditation may show you what you don't want to see on the path to where you want to go.
When you embrace your dharma, your dharma protects you.
Communication psychology is intriguing. According to Albert Mehrabian's research, body language conveys 55 per cent of our communication, voice conveys 38 per cent, and words transmit only 7 per cent. (This is a general rule, but even if the percentages change, the reality remains that the majority of human communication is nonverbal.)
Passion + Expertise + Usefulness = Dharma.
There are two myths that some of us hear as children. "You'll never amount to anything," and "You can be anything you want to be," says the second.
However, the truth is a bit different.
You can't be anything you want to be.
But you can be everything you are.
Pay attention, develop self-awareness, and nourish your strengths, and you will discover your way. And after you've discovered your dharma, go after it.
"Just be yourself." Look for possibilities to do what you enjoy in your current life.
Answer the two key dharma questions for each action: Did I enjoy the process? Did other people want the outcome? There are no correct or incorrect answers. This is an observation exercise to help you become more conscious.
Routine
Every day, when you wake up, remember to yourself, "Today I am fortunate to be alive; I have a precious human life; I will not waste it."
The mood you fall asleep with is likely to be the one you wake up with in the morning.
Often life would ruin your plans. Tomorrow will not unfold as you expect it to be. Visualization does not change your life, but it does alter how you perceive it. Returning to the ideal that you envisioned can help you develop your life. You use visualisation to correct your life whenever you sense it is out of alignment.
"Before enlightenment, cut wood and transport water." After awakening, cut wood and bring water." We are never free of everyday duties and routines, no matter how much we progress, but to be enlightened is to accept them.
Yesterday was only a dream. Tomorrow is merely a dream. But a well-lived today turns every yesterday into a quest for happiness and every tomorrow into a vision of hope.
The only way to have a wealthy and complete life is to be present.
Time has memory; the location has force.
When you do something every day, it gets simpler and more natural.
When you do something in the same place every day, it becomes more accessible and natural.
The Mind
When our senses and the mind are still, the reasoning intellect settles in stillness and the ultimate path starts.
Understanding the mind is required for true progress. It is the filter, judge, and director of all our experiences. The more we can assess, comprehend, train, and develop our relationship with the mind, the more successfully we can manage our lives and conquer obstacles.
'Every choice in life is a war between two wolves inside us,' an elder tells his. Anger, jealousy, greed, fear, deception, insecurity, and ego are all represented by one. The other one signifies harmony, love, compassion, kindness, humility, and optimism. They are fighting for dominance.'
Which wolf will win?' 'The one you feed.
"Based on what we read and hear." Who we spend our time with. By how we use our time. Where we direct our energy and attention."
"For him who has mastered the mind, the mind is the best of allies; for him who has not, the mind is the biggest enemy."
Be more concerned with being right than being kind.
When the parent is not around, the child climbs on the counter near the hot stove to reach the cookie jar, and disaster follows. If the parent is overly controlling, the child may develop anger, and resentment, and become risk-averse. Finding the correct balance in parent-child interactions is a constant task.
Therefore, it is the first step toward comprehending our minds—becoming conscious of the various voices within us. Starting to separate what you're hearing can help you make better judgments right away.
There are three paths to happiness, and they all revolve around knowledge: learning, developing, and attaining.
Take fifteen minutes to jot down any idea that comes to mind when you feel the urge to halt.
We tell ourselves things we would never tell our loved ones. We've all heard the saying. Treat yourself with the same love and respect that you want others to show you.
Attachment causes suffering. It hurts to have something taken away from you if you believe it is yours or that you are something.
Detachment means that you don't own anything and that nothing should hold you back.
Ego
Those who forsake all selfish cravings and break free from the ego cage of "I," "me," and "mine" are permanently free.
"Pride in riches, kills wealth, pride in strength destroys strength, and pride in knowledge destroys knowledge."
You don't need to show your worth to anyone else if you're happy with who you are.
Consider the differences between yourself and your persona by considering the decisions you make when you're alone, with no one to evaluate you and no one to impress. Only you know if you want to meditate or watch Netflix, whether you want to snooze or go for a run if you want to wear sweats or fashionable clothes. You are the only one who knows whether you eat a salad or a column of Girl Scout cookies. Consider yourself when no one else is present, no one to impress, no one with something to give you. That reveals something about who you are.
When no one is looking, you are who you are.
Perfect monks are those who understand the genuine equality of all beings in both their delight and their misery in comparing themselves.
Respect is desired by the arrogant ego, but respect is inspired by the humble worker. So, before passing judgement on others, take a minute to ask yourself, "Am I finding fault in diverting myself or others from my insecurities?" Is it possible that I'm projecting my inadequacy onto them? And, even if I am not doing one of these things, am I any better than the person I am criticising?
Even if you believe you know a narrative, strive to live it as if it were the first time.
Only by allowing oneself to remain empty can you be filled with knowledge and pleasant experiences.
If you get special treatment, it's because people like you. When you demand or believe you are entitled to it, you are seeking respect that you have not earned.
We were advised to forget both the good we've done for others and the wrongs others have done to us.
Remembering your faults while forgetting your accomplishments reduces ego while increasing appreciation - a simple, effective technique for humility.
Failing signifies, trying, and that's more essential than the immediate outcome.
Instead of judging, reflect. Be curious. Don't act as if you understand. Inquire for clarification. To establish tangible actions toward progress, ask questions.
These three actions will boost your confidence and self-awareness: asking, assessing, and responding to feedback.
Gratitude
Gratitude has been related to improved mental health, self-awareness, stronger relationships, and a sense of accomplishment.
If you've gone through a breakup, lost a loved one, or experienced any other emotional trauma, compassion is the answer.
The salt represents the agony of existence. It is consistent, however, if you put it in a little glass, it tastes harsh. You can't taste it if you put it in a lake. Extend your senses and your environment, and the agony will fade. Don't be the mirror. Make yourself a lake.
Taking a broader perspective allows us to lessen our suffering and appreciate what we have. By contributing, we have direct access to this more comprehensive vision.
Relationships
Whatever you give, you will most certainly receive it back—love, hatred, rage, or kindness—in any form. Love is shaped like a circle. Whatever love you give forth always returns to you. Your expectations are the source of the problem. You might assume that the affection you give will come from the person to whom you gave it. It does not, however, always emanate from the individual within. Similarly, some individuals adore you even when you don't reciprocate.
We often love individuals who do not love us, but we fail to reciprocate the love of those who do. Intentions, not abilities, determine trust.
Accepting individuals as they allow them to grow and prove themselves to be greater. When we allow the trust to develop spontaneously, we set ourselves up for long-term success.
Think like a monk in terms of energy management rather than time management.
Conversation
One of the most meaningful presents we can give is the gift of listening. There is no greater approach to demonstrate our concern for another person's situation. Intentional listening is looking for the emotions underlying the words, asking clarifying questions, putting what you've learned into your understanding of the other person, doing your best to remember what they said, and following up when appropriate. Listening also entails creating a trusting environment in which the person feels welcome and protected.
We often develop crushes on people not because we truly love and understand them, but rather to divert ourselves from our pain. We can fully love and comprehend another person when we learn to love and understand ourselves and have true compassion for ourselves.
Love is the lack of judgements, however here are some monk principles to keep in mind:
1. Discover the new in the old
2. Come up with new ways to spend time together.
3. Serve together.
4. Combine meditation and chanting.
"You will continue to bleed until you repair the wounds of your past." You can stop the bleeding with food, booze, drugs, a job, or smokes, but it will all leak through and stain your life eventually. You must find the courage to open the wounds, put your hands inside, and extract the core of the anguish that is keeping you stuck in your past, and make peace with them."
Service
If you anticipated one person to fulfil all of your expectations, there will be a vacuum when they go.
As a result, the only way to properly connect with the universe is to serve, since that is what the universe does.
Keep in mind that anything you're giving was given to you. You can't claim credit for it if you pass it on.
Service is the quickest way to live a meaningful life.