“The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more; it’s giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.” Mark Manson
You Choose Yourself, What to Give a Fuck About
It is a common behaviour to think of everything that we lack and tries to get it. We want to become everything that we are not. In the race of improving ourselves, we continuously in a feeling of lacking something; unsatisfied with ourselves. Does not it make life vulnerable? Mark Manson suggests that, don’t give a fuck about more things. Give a fuck to things that are the most important for you. You should choose things to what you’re going to give a fuck.
Absorb Negativity and Accept Troubles: Mark Manson just learn to give less fuck about negative experiences. This will increase positivity in your life. If you want happiness, you should be accepting troubles that are in the way of happiness. It is up to you that what troubles you choose to give a fuck to, for what happiness you want.
“And this pain, as much as we hate it, is useful. Pain is what teaches us what to pay attention to when we’re young or careless. It helps show us what’s good for us versus what’s bad for us. It helps us understand and adhere to our limitations” _ Mark Manson
So “Not Giving a Fuck” does not mean that you don’t give a fuck at all. You give a fuck to only chosen things.
It’s Ok to be Normal, not Special
Don’t give too much attention to being special or showing greatness. When you accept being a normal person, the pressure of being something extraordinary is lifted and you start appreciating the pleasures of family, friendship, little deeds of goodness, activities that you enjoy doing and all such things that give you happiness. This is a fact that everyone in this world can’t be proven extraordinary. But that is okay. Being happy and satisfied is more important.
“The rare people who do become truly exceptional at something do so not because they believe they’re exceptional. On the contrary, they become amazing because they’re obsessed with improvement. And that obsession with improvement stems from an unerring belief that they are, in fact, not that great at all” _ Mark Manson
Suffering is Inevitable
Mark Manson believes that suffering is inevitable. Without facing problems, what you get is just shallow. Your happiness is superficial if it is not at the cost of suffering. But the matter is, which problems you are going to suffer from are up to you. You should choose the problems to which you will give importance. Because the nature of your problems will decide the quality of your life.
“To both men, their suffering meant something; it fulfilled some greater cause. And because it meant something, they were able to endure it, or perhaps even enjoy it.”_ Mark Manson
Take Responsibility for What Happens to You
What is happening in your life is the result of what you are giving a fuck to. So it is a result of your own choices. You should be powerful enough to take responsibility and accept your role in what is happening in your life because you are playing a major role. When you start taking responsibility you start your journey to the way to improvement.
“Whether we like it or not, we are always taking an active role in what’s occurring to and within us. We are always interpreting the meaning of every moment and every occurrence. We are always choosing the values by which we live and the metrics by which we measure everything that happens to us. Often the same event can be good or bad depending on the metric we choose to use.” _ Mark Manson.
Failure Leads to Improvement
We can’t always make correct choices. We fail when we choose the wrong values. This should not stop us from doing anything. Whether we know or not we have to continuously make choices. If we fail, it will increase our knowledge and improve us.
“You can’t win if you don’t play.” _ Mark Manson
Commitment is Freedom
Mark Manson tells us a very precious secret of happiness. We think that being free means wanting more and more things, visiting more and more places, build a relationship with multiple women. This is not freedom because we are now bound to more and more desires. Being committed to single women and paying attention to some particular things that matter to you makes you free from the rest of the mess. So real freedom is in commitment.
Significance of Remembering Your Mortality
The idea of death eliminates all unimportant things from your life, Death is scary, but it is definite. If you keep this fact in mind, you become more focused.
My Views of the Book
This book teaches us a very precious lesson that life is short and we should not waste it by giving too much fucks. It will just destroy our happiness.